(LTAF) Week 5

Dear Friend,

Last week was the best week so far here at camp. My cabin was awesome. The kitchen staff was awesome. The people I work with were awesome. Everything was just awesome. So much happened and I had so much fun. The week truly felt like it flew by though.

This week’s cabin was super chill. I had a mix of ages between 8 and 11 years old. I feel like the older kids in the cabin kind of mellow out the younger ones drastically. After night one I kind of knew that it would be a bit of an easier week. The boys in this cabin came together like no other cabin I’ve had. They rarely fought and functioned with like minds in almost everything they did. It was awesome to see. They were all obsessed with building forts in the cabin for some reason. (Talk about creativity) I had a boy in their named Grady that cracked me up too. He was like a little old man stuck in a young man’s body. So much personality for such a little guy. I absolutely loved it.

Something weird happened with a couple of my returnees this week. It was one of the earlier nights in the week (a Tuesday or Wednesday maybe) and the kids were about to go to sleep. We knocked out our devotions and were all in bed ready to wind down. The boys always talk a little bit before knocking out and I’m totally okay with that. The conversation got interesting though. I was in my cabin counselor’s area when they started to talk about potential pairings of me at camp. People they thought I liked or would work well with. It caught me so off guard I couldn’t help but die a bit inside of laughter. And then something within me became curious to see who they’d see me with. So I joined in on the conversation. I asked why they saw me with the people they mentioned and if there was anyone else that they might see too. I kind of probed around the idea while laughing with all the boys. I never confirmed or denied anything though. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to let the boys’ imaginations wander for a week. What was weird though is they mentioned someone that I hadn’t really expected them to. Someone that I was beginning to actually open up to and love being around. Someone with a very similar mind to my own. I hadn’t viewed them in the way the boys thought that I did, but my thoughts were headed in that general direction.

I decided I should let the girl know along with the other people the boys mentioned just as a heads up. I kind of sucked at it though. I didn’t want her to catch on to where my head has been so I kind of chuckled at the idea the boys had put together as if it couldn’t really be a thing. Instant regret. Now it’s like I replay the moment wishing I would’ve broken the somewhat funny and totally interesting news to her in a different way. I’ve been thinking about it all week. But you know where I stand on camp relationships. So I have no idea what I’m doing at this point. Just pray for me.

I really miss home. I probably should’ve gone home the past couple of weekends, but I just dread that long drive on a Friday night. I know how tired I am and I fear that if I try to make it alone I’ll fall asleep at the wheel or something along those lines. I’ve been thinking a lot of the people back home. What are they all up to? Do they miss me? Will they think I’ve changed when I come home? Have they changed at all? I wish I could just be everywhere at once so then I could totally spend time with them this summer too. I could visit all my favorite coffee shops and baristas. I could create lasting memories with people that I won’t have in life forever. I could spend time mending broken relationships with my family.

My family… Oh how I miss them the most. Especially my sister. I just feel like the older I get, the busier I am. And with that business comes a lack of time to spend back home. I know that my relationships back home are straining. But at this point in my life, I know that it’s all necessary. God has called me to do something for His kingdom and if I’m not obedient to that then think of all the souls that would be lost… I know it’ll work out in the end eventually.

As you can read, my mind is kind of everywhere lately. Between relationships with friends and family, a tinge of romance here and there, and the beating of the endless souls of children around me it’s hard to stay focused. The kids come first though. The kids always come first. Just keep me in your thoughts when you’re praying. Things will figure themselves out slowly. Love you!

Sincerely,

Victor Rodriguez